I feel as though I should have a virginia slim and a dirty martini in my hands recounting the last fourteen days... Instead, I’m detoxing - finishing a lukewarm latte in flannel pajamas with holes in the crotch. Chic.
The pop star has left the stage and the troll has entered her lair…
As a lover of solitude and a glorified homebody, my choice of profession could be perceived as questionable…
I’m a wise fool, a jumbo-shrimp, a living breathing oxymoron! And lately, as an *introverted pop star,* I’ve been asking myself a terrifying question:
Can a very soft girl bare a very fast lane?
Three years ago I almost quit music altogether.
Perhaps a entry for another day…
I sit here now, after what could have been two backbreaking weeks— feeling like I may have found a way (even *ways*) to make all this… sustainable?
Doesn’t hurt, I’m getting to do so much of this stuff with one of my best friends. This is a photo of me and him:
Anything but a slow-summer, I’m devoted to making this one of the most memorable chapters of what is guaranteed to be (not to be morbid but) a short life.
My trip to London to meet Finneas was already in the stars, but four days prior to my departure, my friend Layne Cooperstein of Darkroom Records (where Finneas and I are signed as The Favors), mentioned Spotify was looking for an artist to perform at Vanity Fair and Carbone’s “Power Party.” Held in the same venue where the 1979 term “power lunch” was coined— idk. Something about making high-powered deals in an impressive setting.
There I sang for the elite food industry of New York— I can’t say this was my typical crowd, nor that they were particularly familiar with me or my music. So sure, they talked over me. “Why shouldn’t they?” I thought… “I know this room. You have to force them to care. Be talented. At very least, be funny.”
I held onto high notes and told a “no shoes no service joke” that really landed as I was barefoot during the performance... It reminded me of opening for Lewis Capaldi years ago— as the *support act,* you must convince the audience you matter— something I actually think I’m kinda good at.
Back to my scheduled programing: London.
Upon arrival, Finneas and I went directly into filming a 2hr podcast and a “showcase” performance where we sang and talked about unreleased Favors songs for British music execs and supervisors who help find homes for your songs in movies, tv shows and the like.
*For those who don’t know,* my song “Moral of the Story” was placed in the movie, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before: P.S. I Still Love You, which changed my career forever and ever, amen. Respect to every music supervisor out there— you should frankly be paid more.
^^featured here is a rare clip from soundcheck. Less rare: me trying to end the song early.
Next up, the real impetus to my visit: Hyde Park
Finneas’ sunset slot opening for Gracie Abrams (who I had just opened for in Australia a month earlier) and Noah Kahan was remarkable. Finneas is remarkable. Lucky me, I got to surprise the crowd of over sixty-thousand people and walked out mid our song “The Little Mess You Made.”
(♡ P.S. thinking about writing an entry about the Gracie tour?)
Nervous before and nervous on stage, I felt a unique sense of pride when I later saw fan footage of me, not only looking calm, but like I very much belonged there.
We woke up at 8am for what I’d call a “promo day.” Did a few interviews and shot live performance videos in the streets of London where we got yelled at by a *shirtless twenty-something* who berated us from his window for being too close to his driveway... (He said he was a film maker. Finneas, asked where we could watch his films. He didn’t tell us.)
After the brief altercation with our new fan, Finn and I hugged - he was whisked away to a train to Belgium and I to Ralph Lauren, where I was fitted for a silk, black and white polka-dot dress for Wimbledon.
—
Before I move on: a quick moment of adoration for my friend, who often resembles the energizer bunny to me: ever-youthful and energetic— Finneas watched out for me like a brother might. Such a pro. Been doing it forever. It was nothing short of a masterclass working alongside him.
I know he’s one of the reasons I feel so sane this time around. I love you, Finneas!
—
My first visit to Centre Court with my fiancé respectfully gave me the same fuzzy effect in my stomach that Disneyland historically has. Fun fact: John stood in line ten years earlier at 3am to get a ticket to Wimbledon. Now, his reactions to the Alcaraz vs Rublev match were on TV.
July 8. My London trip ended with a room full of 300 of my top British fans, screaming every word to EVERY SONG which lead to many, MANY tears for myself and them <33. The *sniffles* between quiet moments will live on in my memory forever.
It was intimate and vulnerable and felt exposed in a way I haven’t in a long time— a way you don’t feel in bigger rooms…
It’s hard to describe how that intimacy makes me feel as an introvert— it’s beautiful, and rare, and earth-shattering… but I don’t think my heart and soul could do it for more than a couple shows.
Back to New York.
The next morning we flew back to NYC and stayed in my favorite part of Brooklyn, Dumbo.
July 11th started with a visit to *the nearest thing to heaven we have in New York*— please see my favorite movie: An Affair To Remember— where I LIT THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING in Wimbledon colors: purple and green.
“WHERE I LIT… THE EMPIRE… STATE BUILDING…”
I gave a speech at a podium, flipped a giant Frankenstein switch (that surely was a prop?) and was taken to the coveted *103rd* floor.
*Swiftly* back to Brooklyn we went for soundcheck, as Wimbledon asked me to perform at their iconic Hill in New York event — then BACK to Manhattan for a TV appearance on ABC News Live — and then BACK to Brooklyn for the gig.
That very day, my band with Finneas released its second ever song, “The Hudson” and during my Wimbledon performance I looked out at - well… The East River but close enough… singing in Brooklyn.
For a triumphant ending to a dreamy and chaotic two weeks, John, Emma Harvey (my guitarist), and I took the three hour drive to the Hamptons where Chanel was holding their “Summer Salon” at the picturesque Hedges Inn.
Finally realizing my Real Housewives of New York dream, I was greeted by an actual metal key for my room, Chanel gifts, and the two kindest humans in the glam industry (icons really), Tyron Machhausen (makeup) and Rebekah Forecast (hair) who turned me into a cross of Marilyn Monroe and Grace Kelly.
Dressed in a Chanel sunset, sorbet whimsical muslin dress, I sang for a crowd of very lovely, very fancy people— who turned out to be just about as normal as anybody else. Special mentions to Derek Blasberg & Mark Guiducci who kept me in stitches through the end of the night.
We stayed an unplanned, extra day in East Hampton, I did a quick phone interview with Marie Claire about the night with Chanel, ate Lobster rolls at The Beach Hut on Main with John, watched Sinner beat Alcaraz from our down-feather bed and cap’t it with espresso martini’s in the garden.
Our flight back to Nashville was cancelled (the next one got cancelled as well…) and after a whirlwind of weeks, I was wonderfully unbothered.
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses.” ― Alphonse Karr
And now…
I’m memorializing this trip from my stone cottage in Nashville, next to my twenty pound orange cat.
Of course, Finneas & I just announced that our band, The Favors, is performing three album release shows in NYC’s Central Park - SummerStage, Los Angeles, Hollywood Forever Cemetery and the legendary, Red Rocks in Colorado. So really… the last few weeks are a mere taste of an ongoing and guaranteed adventure.
So did I answer the question…
Can a very soft girl bare a very fast lane?
I’m not sure there’s a definitive answer— or fixed one— but for now, the answer feels like a resounding, yes. Staying fiercely protective of my boundaries and open to all the new and very exciting possibilities. I have no interest in a predictable life. Although… I would like to organize my basement, and do laundry, and water my garden now. The precious mundane…
I’ll sign off with an emphatic: thank you for reading. Very sweet of you. And if future me comes back to this entry, I’m so very proud of you.
Love always, Ashe
This was beautifully written 🥹 It’s so lovely to see the experience of fame through such an authentic perspective! As an Aussie who was at a Sydney Gracie show, I’d LOVE to read an entry about you being her opener!!
Omg every time you make a public appearance and talk about updates about your life or how you are feeling I just feel like we could be friends because you sound so approachable and nice like omg this substack is such amazing news 🥰